Friends are those people who care for you,
supports you no matter what and love you for the way you are. The great thing
about friends is that they energize your soul.
Do you notice that you are feeling disturbed or
stressed by your friend’s behavior? Do you feel like you are not that close
with your friend like how you used to be? And now you are probably wondering
that how you two became friends in the first place. Then maybe you are stuck in
a toxic friendship. Read on to see what toxic friendship actually is and what
are the signs to look for to check whether your friend is being toxic.
You are probably in a toxic friendship when you feel
like you are being emotionally disturbed by your friend. You feel hurt, not
understood and like you are being treated badly. Instead of feeling happy and
energized, you feel drained when talking to them. It is hard to let go of a
dear one but sometimes it is better to let them go if they are not willing to
change. The main pillar of every relationship is respect and if you feel
like you aren’t getting that then maybe it is time for you to leave. Below are
some traits of a toxic friendship:
1.
JEALOUSY – Friends
are the ones with whom we share all the details of our life, which includes
successes and failures both. Toxic friends will not be around to celebrate your
success. A little competition is healthy but always trying to think in terms of
winning can be unhealthy in a friendship. Friends should wish the best for each
other and be happy and appreciative if the other person achieves something. The
other person’s success should be seen as a motivation and inspiration, not as
superiority and jealousy.
2. CRITICIZING –
If you are in a toxic friendship, you will notice that your friend is being
rude to you very often. Good friends give you honest opinions but a toxic
friend’s opinion will leave you feeling bad about yourself. They will make you
feel shameful about every thing that you do and every decision that you make.
They will not consider your feelings that you might feel bad about what they
are saying. They will focus on pleasing themselves by talking negative about
you.
3.
FEELING USED –
You will always be there to support your friend but when you need their
support, your toxic friend will be nowhere to be seen. Toxic friends can be
insanely mean. They will often play their victim cards and manipulate you into
doing something for them. But when it’s their chance, they will be making excuses;
they will not put the same amount of efforts that you are putting in. There
will be no signs of reciprocity in a toxic relationship because they are
present just to suck out all the benefits from you.
4.
NOT RESPECTING BOUNDARIES AND
UNTRUSTWORTHY– Toxic friends don’t respect your personal space.
They will make you feel uncomfortable and will lack empathy. They will be
spilling all your secrets to other people. You will probably feel like you can’t
trust them anymore. They will gossip about you and badmouth you behind your back.
You will feel like you need to push them away to get back your privacy. Most
things in a friendship is contagious so it is important to maintain healthy boundaries.
5.
DRAMA – It is no big
deal if your toxic friend is ignoring you but when you ignore them, it’s a whole lot
of drama. Point out one bad thing about their behavior and they will point out
ten bad things about you. They will always be arguing with you or causing
problems and then rant about how sad they are. They are most of the times
unhappy, pessimistic and complaining. And they are good at exaggerating
everything like they are the only people who have to go through bad times.
It can be difficult to say bye to a person whom we are
so close to but sometimes it is good for our inner self and our well-being.
Telling them about how you feel can be a good thing to do but there are high
chances that they will not understand you. So, it is better to end it or take a
break and then give time to heal and indulge yourself in self-care. Reach out
to friends who genuinely care for you.
Always remember that you are the only one who can
eliminate toxicity and negativity from your life.
